Breaking the Silence

I feel like it has been ages since I've blogged. To be honest, I haven't been in the mood this week and I haven't had much time with school picking up to start a new quarter. So I guess that worked out conveniently. I have been thinking a lot about the marathon I will not be running a week from today. All I want to do is run. I even tossed around the idea of trying the half marathon just because I need to be there. At this point, I will not be running at all, but I wish I could stop thinking about it. I feel like someone told me I'm not capable of doing it and all I want to do is prove them wrong. Unfortunately, I am the one saying it's best not to run and the only person I'd like to prove wrong is myself. I know, I know...there will be other times. It's not the end of the world. I have the rest of my life to run another marathon. But...I wanted the time to be now. I didn't want to train for a few months for nothing. Then I realized something. Training for months provided me with happiness. Sure, I was not aware of the fate of my foot but I was content. The process of training is fun to me. I look forward to seeing what is next on the agenda and going for it. No, I can't cross off the word "MARATHON!!!" on my training plan but I can think about the past runs and not dwell on it anymore. I only allowed myself one day to be sad about it. That day was Tuesday and I happened to be driving home from Seattle when I saw the sign on the highway for Whidbey Island. That was enough for me. Note to self: Don't cry when you are driving. Especially when it's pouring rain outside. I know I'll be thinking about it at 6 am next week. I would be getting up, nerves flowing through my body, stretching, listening to my music, and getting ready to see all of my friends and family along the course. The feeling of finishing a marathon cannot be described. My only option is to be thankful for the experience and hopeful for the future. Life is rather unpredictable, isn't it?

         Best,
                Anne